A Drummer's Testament
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What a husband does for his wife; what a wife does for her husband
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Supplementary material
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Contents outline and links by paragraph
Introduction
- 1. differences between typical Dagbamba and Muslims
Dagbamba husbands' main work is providing food
- 2. money or food for cooking; the most important thing is to establish trust
Buying cloth for the wife
- 3. buying clothes and shoes
- 4. how a rich person and a chief buy cloth
- 5. how maalams, commoners, and farmers give cloth; often given during Ramadan
- 6. cloth for Ramadan; can give money; woman adds her money to choose her cloth
- 7. how giving the money instead of buying cloth shows the husband's respect
- 8. chief's wives have no choice
- 9. how commoners beg their wives to accept the gift they can afford
Other good works by the husband
- 10. respect for in-laws; greeting the wife's housepeople
- 11. buying of gifts, animals
- 12. show concern for wife's feelings; does not chase outside women
- 13. sharing things and work; protecting the wife from bad things
- 14. exception: typical Dagbamba husbands do not do washing, but for man to cook and to pound fufu are inside custom
- 15. love the children of the wife
- 16. villagers show trust in their wives to hold his best things
- 17. if there is no love, then trouble, blame, quarreling, selfishness; different from this talk
Good works Muslim husbands do
- 18. start good works before marriage; gifts; get all the things for when they marry
- 19. arrival of the wife at the house: the unveiling; slaughter animals to prepare food
- 20. preparing and furnishing the wife's room
- 21. help the wife to learn to read; greet his in-laws; protect wife from suffering
Funerals
- 22. Muslim husband will assist the wife's family if there is a funeral
- 23. Dagbamba funerals have more expenses for in-laws; cloth, scarf, sheep, money, food, music
- 24. a good wife and mother will attract help for the funeral from the whole family of the husband
- 25. Dagbamba try harder for a woman who has no children; example: Alhaji Ibrahim's senior wife
The good works of a wife who loves her husband
- 26. women's help feeding guests at a funeral protects the man from shame
- 27. women are the foundation of funerals; get blessings from God
- 28. women get blessings and respect; man should not put her into difficulty
- 29. have to respect woman as a wife; no adultery; should not beat a woman
- 30. the woman takes care of the house: cooking, sweeping, washing, going for water and firewood
- 31. good to people in the house; does not gossip or quarrel outside; gifts; speaks well of people
- 32. a wife can show her love with sex
- 33. help the husband; even goes to help on the farm; buys things for the husband
- 34. protect her husband from trouble or shame; give her own money to perform funerals
- 35. good works and help for the husband's parents; wife's love resembles a husband's love
Conclusion
- 36. conclusion and transition
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Proverbs and Sayings
If what your heart wants is what you do for her, it shows that the woman is a slave in your house.
The cloth that some women will not wear, the women who will wear it are there.
She has taken wet sand and put it on dry sand.
If you beat a dog, you should wait for its owner.
When people abuse someone because of someone, it is love that has brought it.
As for the expenses of a Dagbamba funeral, there is now fear inside it.
Performing the funeral comes from the bone of your wife.
If your wife loves you, she will like your people and your friends, and they will witness that.
If your wife doesn't love you, every day you are a stranger to her.
How a woman loves her husband, it looks like how a man loves his wife. Everyday it is good works they will do for one another, and they will be sitting down coolly; and if you look at them you will see that their way of living is good.
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Dagbani words and other search terms
- Names and people
- Fati (wife of Ibrahim)
- (Alhaji) Mumuni (Abdulai)
- Miscellaneous terms
- cedis
- chop-bar
- cowives
- fufu
- gabli
- housepeople
- lorry
- maalam, maalams
- Muslims
- Ramadan
- sagim (saɣim)
- yaazhi (yaaʒi)
- Towns and places
- Accra
- Dagbon
- Kumasi
- Nanton
- Savelugu
- Voggo
- Cultural groups
- Ashantis
- Dagbamba
- Dagbana
- Gurunsi